Clothes, Lazlo.

Rather than shop for clothes, I have decided to blog about shopping for clothes. Here's the problem: I hate shopping. Most people I know might be surprised to find out that I actually kind of like nice clothes, although I don't own any. I think I've got good (if conservative) taste, I know a little bit about the rules of men's fashion, and I like wearing nice clothes and looking good. I just hate shopping. Plus, I'm cheap.

This is not a good combination.

On December 7th I've got to go to Baltimore, MD (Bodymore, Murderland, for fans of The Wire) for "Introduction to Leadership" training. I am expected to dress as a middle-manager in the government should dress -- meaning shirt and tie during the day, with a jacket (or, heaven forfend, suit!) for the post-training banquet. My Pierre Cardin suit is from Goodwill, not properly tailored, and is still spattered with mud from Aaron and Wendy's wedding five years ago. No go. My blazer is also from Goodwill. It's a traditional blue wool blazer, and it fits nicely, but I hate the shoulder pads. God I hate shoulder pads. Do all dress jackets have shoulder pads? I'll wear the damn thing in a pinch, but not comfortably, because I feel like a pin-headed frankenstein in those shoulder pads.

Shopping online is tempting, because you can be tremendously lazy, and sit in your club chair "shopping" while consuming the better part of a bottle of Chardonnay. That's what I've done tonight, and it's taught me what I already know: my tastes are boring as hell (love that Gap!), I'm too casual to be dressy, and I'm cheap (fifty-nine fucking dollars for a shirt!). The problem is, ultimately you don't know what you're getting, whether it will fit, etc. Therefore, the mall beckons.

Ugh.

The World Ends With Me

Back in July I wrote about the amazing complexity of the combat mechanics of my Nintendo DS game The World Ends With You. Pretty sure that blog entry was called Holy Effing Ess! The picture above shows the two screens of the DS that the player has to deal with. On the bottom is Neku, the main character -- the player's proxy (the slouchy kid with the red hair) -- whom you control with the stylus. Above Neku is character Shiki whom you control with the 4-way directional pad (see those arrows leading to the three different ESP-card symbols?).

It's an incredible achievement, this game, for a couple of reasons. One: the combat is so daunting as to appear impossible, but ends up being very possible even for a 38-year old geezer such as myself, after which it becomes superfun. To reiterate: the combat is really fun (not always the case in RPGs). You could play the game for the combat alone, and it would be worth the price of admission ($39.99, in case you're wondering).

But there's also a story to this game. TWEWY doesn't pretend to be "open ended" or "emergent" -- it's got a story to tell and it tells it; you're just along for the ride. But it's a good story. And it's not about High Elves and noble Paladins. It's about teenagers in Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan, dealing with survival, friendship, betrayal, fashion, and marketing -- all of which, with the possible exception of the former, are big deals to most teenagers in the moneyed world.

Barb hates videogames for no particular reason. The World Ends With You is the first game that made me really feel like she's missing out. It's a great work.

Plus, did I mention that it's fun as hell?

The One Billionth Blogger ...

...to say that I'm glad Barack Obama was elected president of the United States. I don't expect miracles from the guy. He's inheriting New Orleans post-Katrina. Bush has made a wreckage of the United States. I know some conservatives. I'm a recovering conservative myself. And I know that Bushloyal conservatives feel that he's being handed a raw deal by the media (note to self: blog entry on The Myth of the Liberal Media), but that history will look more kindly on G.W.Bush.

Ha! Ha!

It's a laughable idea, so I laugh. It's been said so many times that it no longer has any impact, but that doesn't make it less true: George W. Bush is stupid. He's not mentally-incompetent-stupid. I'm sure he could balance a checkbook. He can fly a fighter jet, for goodness sake. He's not a village idiot (bumper stickers notwithstanding). He's just a dumb guy. He's gullible. He's ignorant. He's narrow in scope. He's manipulable.

Most important: he's history. Fuck 'im. I'll leave his legacy to the historians, who will fill his chapter with debacle and devastation: Iraq, Gitmo, Patriot Act, Katrina, Credit Default Swaps, et al.

Still recovering from my conservative youth, I have to say that perhaps the worst thing that Bush has done is put us on the path to Socialism. Nationalized banks, government majority-owned insurance companies, and now General Motors coming to whinge at the federal hindtit? What the hell? My 18-year-old conservative self reminds me from the past: let the weak die. It's the natural order. If GM, Chrysler, or Ford aren't able to turn a profit making a product that almost every human on Earth wants, fuck 'em (if you'll excuse the continued thematic use of F-bombs). If I, as a taxpayer, am going to share in GM's loss, I better fuckingwell share in their profits.

Notice the anger?

As Trudeau asked recently in Doonesbury, what's the deal with nationalizing risk while continuing to privatize profit?